Monster
by Papachibi
Summary: Aquamarine has been seen as an unlikable and unreasonable person, with the events of her plots against Rose and Peridot, but what has led her to be this way? A story of an innocent soul being tainted by a cruel world and that of recovery through the help of a new interest. A sub after story of "Getting to Know You"


**Story is held after the story "Getting to Know You" as some kind of side post story thingy.**

 **Generic Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, Steven Universe belong to its respective owner.**

"Dialogues"  
 _Inner thoughts  
_ _"Other's dialogue in memories"_

 **_*****_  
** **  
Monster:**

I let out a sigh as I continue my editing documents on my computer, burying myself in paperwork to keep myself away from the thoughts that keep plaguing my mind. It's been a few weeks since I let Peridot go but the pain is still fresh.

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I let out another sigh, at this rate this document will not be done anytime today. It doesn't matter, I'm ahead of schedule anyways. I decided take a little break, staring out of the window to rest my eyes.

 _"You are replaceable."  
_  
I rub at my eyes tiredly, once again the voices in my head are starting to haunt me. It's not some inner voice thing… I guess it's more like a memory—an old, old memory.

The family I came from was not really poor, to put it clearly we are of the average wage household. It would've been alright if I didn't have more than a dozen siblings. Everyday it's a riot, a battle over everything.

Even the space in the bed and dining table is a thing that one must fight for. It doesn't help that my parents are indifferent about it too. They would let us fight over things, thinking that it is a valuable lesson to be learned.

 _"Stand above everyone else, only then will you gain value."_

They are very objective people too, giving attention to those who they deem that is worthy of it from their works and achievements. It was a heartless household that sees usefulness as a standard, so we didn't see the need to watch out for each other.

Have I ever called my parents father and mother? Probably not, for as far as I can remember all I ever call my parents were sir and ma'am. They were more like foremen or bosses rather than biological parents in my eyes.

 _"The end doesn't justify the means is a naïve thought. You need to strive to win, no matter the sacrifices that should be made."_

And as they said, I strived. I excelled in academics, won a lot of awards and participated in a lot of contests but most importantly I've won gambles, extorted, blackmailed. I raked in money where ever I went and no matter I do I didn't leave any trace.

 _"Excellent, Aquamarine. You have gained knowledge more than these books will ever teach you."_

They supported me until I graduated, not that I would need their help with all the earnings that I make myself but it was in favor of me anyways so I didn't care. It made them think that I need them to survive and when they needed me, I left.

It was hilarious. The look on their face as they realized that I intend to leave them to die was extremely hilarious. All I did was make them suffer from the things that they taught me themselves. I didn't think there was something to be surprised about it.

 _"How could you! We raised you and supported you in everything you do, why must you abandon us?! You're a heartless monster."_

"Betrayal and disappointment only happens to those who are soft enough to not see who are merely using them. Isn't that what you taught me, sir?" I said, laughing as I left. They could both burn in hell for all I care. I got what I needed from them and that's all that matters.

 _He called me a monster._

I pursued journalism. Law and politics would've been really risky and they're not risks I'm willing to make. I'd rather lay low as journalist, working behind the scenes and manipulating people in secret. It was a discrete way of learning information and establishing connections, the perfect way for me.

I applied to a big company named Homeworld, acing the interview and getting partnered up with another journalist named Peridot. She was a well-trained professional—serious at all times and detached. She… intrigued me.

She might seem uncaring about everything but I see how she would observe silently, pretty analytic in thinking as I see it. She could be cold and cunning, which made us very fitting partners, but not to the point where she would hurt others… not like me.

How could someone achieve what she could while being merciful… she intrigued me to no end. It was too late when I realized… I fell for her. It was a first to me, I couldn't understand what I'm feeling and it made me feel angry.

"What are you doing to me… why am I feeling this way?!" I screamed as I pin her on the wall, my grip on her arm preventing her from escaping. She raised a brow as she gave me a deadpan expression, further infuriating me as it confused me.

"Wow, I didn't know you feel that way about me Aquamarine. Well aren't you a romantic." What in the world. For all the people that could have enticed me… it had to be this brat. No matter how much I denied it, I know what the implications mean. I was in love with her.

And as to further wound my pride, I asked her out. It was disgusting how my heart beats faster when she said yes, how I felt my face go red, but she made me accept it. She taught me how to care for another person aside from myself and embrace that feeling.

For the first time in my life I learned to love someone and it felt amazing. Being with her was the best thing that ever happened to me. I lived to see her smile every day, to feel her touch and hear her say my name. It was… _intoxicating._

Until finally… I fucked it up. She was a woman of firm beliefs and upright morals. Peridot was upset with how I do things but I can't do anything about it. This is the only way I know how to do things, I can't stop just because she told me to.

"Aquamarine, please. You need stop this." Peridot pleaded with me, asked me to stay with her and leave my fucked up way of living… but I can't.

"This is who I am Peridot, don't you accept and love me for who I am?" She frowned, taking a few steps back until she finally reached the door. It wasn't the first time that we had this conversation but I guess this was the point that she finally snapped, she can't take it anymore.

"I love you Aquamarine... and I know you're kind but the world has fucked you up." Peridot left Homeworld that day. She left with her friend Jasper and disappeared. I thought I could take it… but her absence broke my heart more than anything could have.

 _This is what happens when you let people close to you. I thought you knew better than that._

It hurt... all I wanted was to have her back. I found her and asked her to come back, even resulting to force. I tried again and again and again but she won't come back to me… I've lost her. She found something that we have lost.

 _"I'm sorry…"_

My vision start to get blurry as I remember her last words to me… that day when I finally let her go. Aah, I must've spaced out again. I let out a sigh as I wiped the tears on my eyes before they slid down my cheek.

 _This is what happens when I don't bust myself with work. Damn it._

I stretched as I went back to typing the unfinished report still open in my computer. Just as I started, I was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Ma'am Aquamarine, I've brought your coffee. Can I come in?" I heard a familiar voice from the other side of the door. I didn't need to check to know who it was.

"Thank you, Yellow. The door is open." The door opened to reveal the company secretary, Yellow Pearl, as I expected. Yellow was carrying a tray with my coffee mug which she set down on my table.

Yellow have been stopping by my office for some time after the incident with Peridot and I'm actually glad that she decided to do so. My office is pretty secluded so her company is well appreciated.

"You seem to be busy again, Ma'am. You should take a break once and a while." She said as she took the stacks of paper that littered my desk, arranging them before placing them in their designated drawers.

"The idea seems pleasing but I most probably will for another day." I took the time to raise my head from the computer to give her a tired smile. She turned her head to the coffee mug on my table, her cheeks slightly reddening.

"Now, don't you think the secretary shouldn't be slacking off? I'll tell Ma'am Diamond." I said in a teasing tone to which she turned her back at me with a 'hmph'.

"I bring you coffee and this is what I get. Ungrateful dunce." She fumed as she walked towards the door. I couldn't help but smile at her childish antics.

"Thank you for the coffee again." She gave another 'hmph' as she reddened further, shutting the door loudly as she go. I gave another endearing smile as I stared at the door to which she just walked out off, going back to the paper works that I have been working on.

 _Peridot, we may have lost what we have but I wish I would be able to find it like you did. Until finally, I'd be able to fully let you go._

 **_*****_  
And a side story no one asked for once again. Ahahaha~ UuU a new fic for a new year. Pretty perfect, since it's about change and moving on and all that jazz. The world is a pretty fucked up place huh. Even the kindest of hearts gets tainted and broken forever. I just wanted to give a little side of her story kinda thing. Aquamarine isn't an asshole UnU I'd like to think she isn't.**

 **Thank you for reading this story~ It is an outmost regret of mine to have not produced a fic from the most recent eps but hey, new ones this coming friday -heartmark- woot woot! Please do leave a fave or your thoughts in the reviews. Thank you once again~**


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